The Wife

Hi, this is Elisabeth, the love of my life. My best friend and partner. Even if we commit crime…right Eli?
The first time I saw Elisabeth she had a ponytail and was wearing jeans. I saw her from across the atrium of a hospital but didn’t even make eye contact.
The first time I expressed feelings for her was…a little weird. Sitting in her office with a 9mm M9 and a taser strapped to her side, I spontaneously leaned in and said “Hey…my grandmother died today so I’m in a weird mood. *pause for effect* You’re really pretty.” Her response was a genuine and slightly surprised “Thank you,” after which I “welp…” turned, and left.
Elisabeth was born in Spokane, Washington in the late ’90s. She’s lived in Germany, Iceland (I think), Colorado, and probably other places. She’s well-traveled, a devoted follower of Jesus Christ, knows her way around more guns than you’ve heard of, and grew up home-schooled (^{so forgive her weird proclivities}).

Elisabeth is one of the most patient, friendly, equanimous people I’ve ever met. She’s not easily startled or upset, unless it’s her dickhead cat Solomon in the middle of the night. Elisabeth has climbed numerous 14ers in the United States – probably all of them in Colorado. Her sense of smell is almost nonexistent, but her smile is ready and sincere.